Tonight I am welcoming another guest blogger! Ryan has asked me to post for him, so these are his words, I am just doing the typing.
The first thing I want to say is thank you to my God and Saviour for protecting my family. I also want to say thank you to all those who have prayed, provided meals, helped with our children, provided transportation, sent cards or helped our family in any other way.
There is much I want to write about, but I want to write about our children. Each day I was in the hospital I thought of my children and I grew more thankful for all 3 of them.
I wondered if I had been a good father to my children. I wondered if there were some things I could do better. Then I heard a story that brought tears to my eyes. As they pulled my family from the van my oldest daughter asked the paramedic to pray with her over her family. Knowing that we can move mountains with the faith of a mustard seed, the faith shown by my daugther to know that God could save us all let's me know she knows the right path.
I am concerned about the emotional scars that could result from this. My Moriah, our middle child, saw her mom motionless with her face down in an air bag. She saw her dad, with a bloody face, groaning in pain and trying to get out of the van. She heard her little brother crying and screaming in fear, calling for mommy and daddy. As she grows, I pray she will not carry the weight of these images in her mind.
Even our youngest child, our 2 yr old son, has some understanding of what happened. He says, "Grandma Nanny's and crash!" and "car accident." We do know that all of this can be used for the glory of God, and that is what we want to come of this.
I do ask that you pray I learn how to be a father again. Being out of our home for 2 months I feel like I must rebuild relationships with my children. We are not able to do many of things that we once did together. I often feel inadequate of being their dad. All of these feelings brought me to tears on the night I came home. I know the Lord can bring me through. I just need to remember that He is in control.